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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

ROLEYSTONE: Once there was more than a little Værøy, Norway in Trestrail Avenue, nostalgizes Payton L. Inkletter, over a slurrified sarsaparilla

In other news…

17th January 2009:

Saturday: Yes, no, it’s not Friday, nor Sunday, it’s Sarrerdi! The eagerly awaited cooler change having arrived, it ‘only’ reached thirty Celsius today. Janny took Pa pree to fill his prescription from last night’s locum visit, and then they embarked on a marathon shopping and op shop spree, and to my surprise she arrived home here Pappyless after five in the afternoon. Then I began to notice her menacing bedroom eyes looks begin, and I knew I was in for both a ravishing and a rogering, and as always, resistance is useless, for the consequences are worse than the wear and tear of the ravishing. Hence I was rogered and ravished to within an inch of my vinegar string. Missus Inkleoutforhercutandnothingwillstopher was mightily satisfied, which is my hallmark.

I staggered outside to do a tad of gardening, then delivered some vittles to Pa pree, and troubleshot his non working new printer, which was not difficult fortunately, and it worked fine. Then I returned to eat my din dins and catch most of My Beloved, before returning to the back garden to fertilize, water, and titivate, until almost 11 p.m., with a break on the pooter in between times.

I went for a very late walk, and got hot and sweaty despite the ‘cool’ change. On my return I created a new blog for my planned ‘In other news…’ postings, to be linked to the main website. I used the template from my Visitors’ Book p2 site, and made three postings of only headings, to secure the posts and I’ll add content by editing at a later stage.

Then began a descent for many effing precious hours into Blogger hell, a route I’m terribly familiar with, as I dared to create and add a headline ticker widget, using firstly the iwebgator version which currently services my main page, scrolling through 25 headlines. Of course, after every attempt, taking forever to load the pages due to dial up speeds (64kbs for all but one day a month with Optus), I got an error message, so I eventually gave up. Stupidly, I thought perhaps Feedburner would work after a year of not working, so I attempted to create a new headline widget there, but no matter how many attempts, I was always greeted with an apology and a fancy error message code I could quote to the boffins, which of course is another waste of time, for they might reply in a month second hand through the forums. I noted that Google now own Feedburner, and so I transferred my old account over, assuming it would make things work better, but of course it didn’t.

So I estimate I wasted five hours, at least, simply trying to get a new headline widget to work in either my main page or the new blog, and I tried other headline ticker versions as well, found from my googling for headline widgets (of all things). Go to hell Blogger, like I invite you to in my ‘San BloggerQuentin’ song, rot there, and may someone arise who actually makes it all work, first time every time, makes it simple, and highly customisable in a manner that we bloggers actually want and need. Starting with the template: give us a tool that allows us to easily alter the crap templates Blogger offers so that we can widen the page, widen the widgets, the columns, and a million other things. How about a template maker? With WYSIWYG length, width, position alterations as simple as moving it all on screen, with the code being written in the background. Want another column, this wide, over there? Sure, done! Etc., etc.



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