VALENTINE: Try as hard as y’all might, Payton L. Inkletter was unable to escape the romantic traps set for him by Missus Inkletter: “Headache my ar..”

Be all that as it may, meanwhile:

In other news…

14^th February 2009:

Saturday: I know a huge cohort of my devoted readers, perhaps a hundred million or so, will be shaking their keyboards at this very moment, marvelling with me that it is Sarrerdi again. I don’t understand it either.

It did not get as hot as forecast, fortunately, due last night’s shower I suppose, and the cloud blanket which hung around most of the day.

Janny spoke to Aunt Elsie by phone this morning, and learned, to our great relief, that cousin Vee had already been transferred to a ward from ICU after his marathon operation yesterday. We want to see his recovery be all excellent and good news.

Missus Inklebestdaughterintheworld,byfar took Pa pree out shopping and whatnot for a mere four hours, and returned here and gave him din dins early, before returning him home. I surfaced, and got ready for our Valentine Day’s treat, which was as simple and relatively inexpensive as a Subway beef footlong for me (made by young Caitlyn Fost, who, with her four siblings and parents we’ve known since Baby Inkletter’s attendance at grade two primary), and a Led Looster meal for Janny, which we bought after joining Civic Video (this should put the fear of God into VideoEzy, who Missus Inklewhat’slefttowatch? has kept afloat through good times and bad, and kept supporting after their heavy handed fining of her last year) and hiring two new releases.

The lady who joined me, who I assume was the manageress, being a tad more mature in years than the kindergarten girls assisting her, was most pleasant, and helpful. The ID shenanigans are different at this outfit, and I was frisked, fingerprinted, DNA swabbed, and strip searched, as well as photographed and required to decide upon a number as a password. Well, maybe not all of the former: try photographed and the selection of a number. I must have stretched her ability not to laugh or shake her head in pity when I said I’d need to get the alabaster dragon’s permission, who was already scanning the new releases, to give Pa pree Inkletter’s mobble number as a second phone contact. Who could believe Australians, of our age, nowadays, not having a mobile phone of their own? Frankly, with all the hassle having it has caused us, I’d hurl it into the ocean if I didn’t first shove it up the owner’s jacksie with minimal Vaseline on the leading end. The upshot was, when we returned to the desk with our two DVD choices, Ms VeryPleasant didn’t ask for the second number, obviating having to deny her request, for the alabaster dragon didn’t want to give the mobble number on her pappy’s behalf.

So in the gloaming we headed home, and set ourselves up to enjoy two films and a nice meal, with a bottle of Patritti sparkling white grape juice, a great treat for us. Rare, and wonderful. As for the films, we enjoyed them both: the first was ‘Just Add Water’ with Danny DeVito, Dylan Walsh, and Tracy Middendorf, and a couple of the actors from the fabulous ‘The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang’, Justin Long and Joey Kern, and I thought it a hoot, quirky, funny, subtle, and worth the time spent watching; and the second was ‘Bonneville’, which I liked also, for different reasons, not the least that the highly talented Joan Allen was one of the main actors. The story was a bit weak I felt, but it was feel good and human enough to work on a fairly light level.

By the time the second film was closing, it was toward one in the morning, and I became aware that Missus Inklehornydragon was looking toward me lasciviously, and I thought “Oh no, how am I going to get out of what’s coming?” At film’s completion I jumped up and shot off to hide in the bedroom, but she pursued and cornered me there, smugness and lust glistening all over her face. I leapt over the bed, and darted back out the passage, slipped over on the linoleum in the kitchen, jamming under the table, and that’s where she was happy to put a foot on me and threaten to pleasure me seriously unless I delivered. What was I to do?

I succumbed, only because I know she persists until she gets her way, and so I was rogered to within an inch of my vinegar string there in the kitchen, and only when she was finally, fully, satiated, did she let me go. So now the millions of daily visitors who read yesterday’s account know the upshot of my kitchen cleaning disinterested devotion.

After recovering from almost blowing a fuse in my head – if you think I joke I don’t (and I wonder if it warrants mention to my doctor?) – I let the beauty of my affections know I was going to walk and return the DVDs, for I noticed that Civic Video had an after hours shute. So on this still humid February night I went on long long walk, and did in fact return those two new releases, killing two birds with one pebble: I hadn’t walked for three days and needed the exercise badly, and we don’t have to crank up the donk tomorrow to return the discs by six o’clock.

On my return, very wet from perspiration, off came my shirt and I sat at this keyboard and wrote this diary and did odd bits and pieces, including some adding of notes into my The Dawkins Deduction critique document. I often do this after a walk, for many ideas occur to me while I locomote. I just have to get the jolly thing written.

I now look at the pooter clock and note that it’s already gone five o’clock, and so it won’t be long and the light of a new day will seep across the firmament. And I haven’t yet done my bamboo watering, bless their fat little culms.

Last night I used the thumb drive, my first ever, that Baby Inkletter gave me, and backed up about 12 Mb of my recent documents using the superlative Winzip, and a couple of hours later, having updated some of these self same documents, I backed them up again using the excellent ‘Update (and add) files’ option. It now lives on my house keys ring, and sits all day cosy in my money pocket. What a brilliant invention!

I was vacillating between going to bed, or getting the watering done and doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, and the latter duties won in my internal struggle. What a contrast this morning with 24 hours ago!; a patch of wild easterly wind has been replaced with the doldrums. Seeing all my bamboos – except the Madake, which did its run in early spring – pushing up new culms makes me feel young again.

Yesterday I made the discovery with the Blogger editor, whose guts I hate with a great intensity, that I can do ‘prior postings’, meaning that I can create a new post and publish it with an earlier date than the current one, and it will slip in under the radar of current feeds and such. This is a happy discovery, and I am hopeful of gradually sifting daily postings out of my bulk ones of earlier yet recent times, and publish them under their appropriate dates, thus giving me a lot more headlines to create and have fun with, or should I say create mischief with?

+paytontedwithlove+