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Thursday, June 10, 2010

BIRMINGHAM: "He was born with ants in his pants!" observes P. L. Inkletter. "So much expanded: consilience, eusocialism, epic, forests now, humanism…"

Be all that as it may, meanwhile:
'In other news…'
10th June 2010

Thursday: The big dry continues in Perth and neighbouring farming regions… Oh, and it's just the middle of bloody winter.

I shared a treat with umpteen other thousands of Aussie folk today: a wonderful interview on Lateline: The (Tony) SilverToes aka Tojo (Jones) Assay: His guest for the long interview tonight was Geoffrey Cousins, and while I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary when it started, I was close to spellbound before it was but halfway.

Mr Jones' couture did not disappoint, as it never does: he had donned a faintly pinstriped arsenic suit, white shirt, and a complex banded purple themed tie, with thin white diagonal stripes layed across Byzantium and black purple bands. On the other hand, Mr Cousins went rather casual, if you consider a missing tie and open shirt casual; he looked great regardless, in his slate grey jacket and white shirt, and skin as smooth looking as a baby's bottom – not bad for a fellow who may well have negotiated at the Eureka Stockade.

I declare that the rapport that developed was brill, and, under Mr Jones' barely-there massaging, Mr Cousins freely related an account of his own patrician yet persistent exertions, over recent years, to bring about the capturing of a highly desirable social licence for the Gunn's company, to operate a pulp mill in Tasmania and log the forests. I think Tony Jones was the perfect fit for drawing Geoffrey Cousins out on this subject; I think the male to male chemistry was right also; the provenance these very two have with the issue helped greatly as well.

There was no edge to Mr Cousins, no hysteria, no hyperbole, just a softly enunciated intelligent narrative of how to lift the game, in terms of corporate responsibility, by a company that has great power for good or bad. He told us how this transformation was brought about, the heart in the mouth moments, and even though blood was spilt on the boardroom floor in the end to achieve the seachange within Gunns, you could be forgiven for feeling that if you had to be murdered, Geoffrey Cousins would make it pleasant for you.

Thank you Tony Jones for bringing us this fabulously informative interview on the subject of improving a company's commitment to its stakeholders rather than only one cohort, the shareholders, and thank you Geoffrey Cousins for two things: what you helped engineer with Gunns and its prospects for sustainable and responsible forestry in Tasmania, and for telling us all so openly and eloquently, naturally and soothingly, dignified and debonair, here on Lateline. A very special interview has now been tucked away in my archive.


Gladys Hobson said...

And thank you, Mr Inkletter, for you most enlightening records of what takes place on Australia's Lateline. It give me info about the country where relatives live.

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: I do carry on regarding the current affairs program 'LATELINE' on our ABC, affectionately known downunder as 'Aunty'. It also suggests that I don't have enough to do.

Bear in mind always that we denizens of this wide brown land spend our lives upside down, and thus it affects the way we perceive everything, including current affairs.

Gladys Hobson said...

Affects you, maybe. But then if you do insist on wearing a fur coat and living half of your life in a tree, we must expect a few oddities.

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: Did you do any biology at school? I don't have any choice in the matters of wearing a fur coat nor living in a tree.

Cor blimey!

Gladys Hobson said...

What does your missus say when she sees you upside down in a tree? And why, if it is natural for you to have a fur coat, do you wear knitted garments too? One assumes that if you are upside down then your brains are too. Ah, maybe that's why Aussies are so hot-blooded? Their logic is upside down because they can't help it.
Things should improve now you have a women (Julia Gillard) for PM. (Nice to know not ALL Aussie women are called Sheila!)

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: 'What does (Missus Inkletter) say when she sees you upside down in a tree?' "Let go!"

I have to resort to knitted garments at times due to a condition that, alas, afflicts we furry marsupials, namely, mange.

As for the placement of the male Aussie's brains, Missus Inkletter would maintain, quite uncharitably, that even though upside down, they are still at the top.

'Hot-blooded'? Red-blooded definitely.

Julia Gillard is a fascinating experiment, and I am hopeful and expectant that it will be a good one.

And yes, no, not all women in Australia are named 'Sheila', but all women here are called sheilas.

Gladys Hobson said...

I was once told by an editor that blood is always red and therefore it is not necessary to state its colour. However, unless steaming, it is impossible to know if blood is hot just by looking at it. However, I have witnessed steam coming out of your ears. With that I must conclude that your blood can be hot enough to raise your temperature to the point of steam. With this I must conclude that certain things tickle your fancy and thus increase the redness and heat of your blood?

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: There is one thaing, and she's a sheila who goes by the moniker of Missus Inkletter.

She's a hopeless tease, bending over when she drops things, showering in the nude, and many such fabrications.

Gladys Hobson said...

Good heavens, Mr Inkletter! You mean to say that she does not wear a long-sleeved lengthy nightdress when showering? It is indeed a wonder you don't get heat stroke from blushing (no kind of stroke allowed?) Then spontaneous combustion from your aroused musings)

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: I have often queried Missus Inkletter on why she insists on showering nude.

She comes up with all sorts of excuses, but I'm not buying any of them. It's simply a ploy to keep me steamed up.

Gladys said...

Well, Payton, dear little koala, it does save on fuel needed to heat up the water when bathing. Mm, come to think of it, you could be Paytonted as a heater — for water, rooms and engine boilers.
To fuel you up? Just water to drink and your missus in front of you wearing only her birthday suit.
A steam ship with Mrs Inkletter as the figurehead proudly provocative on the prow, pulsating every nerve of your body and straining your overworked hormones.
What a site to behold!
Likewise for a Rolls Royce type car.
What a treasure you have in that good lady. Your heating problems solved, and travel too. Money earned on the side to keep you in luxury to which you will quickly become adjusted.

Payton L. Inkletter said...

Gladys: I applaud your innovative solutions to our needs.

You have been prescient, because Perth has had its coldest June-July ever so far, and we Inkletters have had to generate a lot of heat au naturel, if you get my drift.

Gladys said...

au naturel comes easy with you. Make the most of it before you get too old and mangy

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